Hello and welcome to the flagship post of Great Tales of Romance, War, and Adventure: a blog where I try to make believe that suburban living somewhere in SoCal is actually much more dramatic than it really is, then blog about it. In other words, this is where I try to write this century’s Rape of the Lock and possibly fail miserably.

The truth is, we, here at GSRWA, are unsure whether I can actually keep a successful blog. I’ve tried many times, before, to start a blog and have quickly lost interest or the blogs have degraded into nothing more than the same post over and over about how I have no will to stick to something as simple as blogging (no disrespect) and really should quit now, before I make an ass of myself any further, and admit to being another distracted statistic that proves just how damaging a childhood conducted almost exclusively infront of the television is to the attention span.

But then there’s that ever-present, gnawing feeling of self-absorption that requires me to document every last thing that runs through my mind in an effort to develop Tinkerbelle-esque fiction-writing career without actually finishing a single story. This mingles in my brain and couples with a steady online diet of articles/vlogs/wikihow posts that tell me I should write everyday to overcome a 26-year problem with writer’s block and that small, obtainable, related goals will ultimately allow me to achieve my grander, less realistic goals. Also–the notion that if i want to be a writer, I should write. Point-blank.

I am compelled, then, to start this blog as part of a massive rest-of-my-life long campaign to better myself as a human being. Also, I need to have something to do that isn’t watching episode after episode of Castle every night (sometimes TNT runs marathons of Castle during prime time. Those are the nights I really feel alive).

So–In a manner very much like when I decide I want to start working out and refuse to stretch or ease myself in to the process: I am hitting the ground running (so to speak) with the following goals:

1. I will finish David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest by the end of the month. To be on point, I have until July 28, 2013 to make it through. I’ve been reading the book for the past couple of months, am almost half-way done and the time has come to finally power through and read the damn thing whenever possible. Plus: Reading is good. Reading makes brain bigger. Reading makes desire to sit on my ass less and less.

2. I am signed up for five on-line classes that will take place over the coming months, ranging from topics such as teaching and education, literary theory, history, and reasoning and argument. My first class starts July 29. Hence the above deadline.

3. I will actively continue going to my somewhat menial, fully unappreciated job as a substitute teacher. Meaning every school day (with the exception of my personal business days in which I attend doctor’s appointments and wash my car). The per-diem money I earn, henceforth, will be saved as much as possible in an attempt to pull me out from under the poverty line and actually, maybe, afford me some independence from the parental units.

4. Also–this blog. As in, I will update on a fairly regular basis and keep anyone who cares updated on my progress for the above goals.

Lofty goals, I am sure. I’m also sure I can achieve them as I possess both Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees and am not an incapacitated lump on the couch…though I like to pretend I am…

More later…I promise you.

Hoo-ah.