And Now, for the Gator Report…

Welcome to another installment of Great Tales of Romance, War, and Adventure–the blog that is, by far, turning out to be more regular than any of this author’s blogs that came before….owing entirely to a high-fiber diet.

…the blog that begs the question: if a writer writes a blog, and no one reads it, is it still an act of unadulterated narcism?

or… Elizabeth: One Girl’s Harrowing Journey Away from the Couch.

Thank you, in advance, for reading. I know you have a lot of other things you could be doing and you’ve chosen to waste some time with me.

Things are going rather swell, here in *shmrfshmrf*, Southern California. Summer’s in full swing and we appear to be in the midst of a shift in time and space where the entire country rotates 180-degrees. The weather–suffice it to say– is constantly hovering near the early triple digits (nothing strange there), but the sky maintains a consistent cloud cover and, instead of our usual dry, South-western hell-fire heat, we have adopted slightly higher humidity rates that feel like–oh— anywhere on the east coast. Lovely weather! Nothing like feeling smack dab in the middle of Florida to make you feel more like a Californian.

But ever do we maintain– we didn’t get to be the entertainment capital of the continent on plastic and spackle alone. No, it took hard work and pure delusion to get that far…

Maybe not so much hard work, anymore…

Moving on.

Here are some things that I actually appreciate about this weather:

1. My car is no longer the crummiest looking car on the block. Now, with the UTI-style drizzle and constant lingering stench of the world’s BO hanging in the air, EVERYONE’S car has water spots and dirty windshields. Oh, we can try to wash them, but what’s the point when it’s 82 degrees by 10 am and wet all the time? Why, it’s an outright waste of water. I refuse to wash my car until I see more than a dribble fall from the sky or can no longer see out my windshield. Whichever comes first.

2. The entertainment value. Forget television. Seeing those poor exercising fools who will jog every morning, no matter the weather, is all the diversion my lazy butt needs. I stand at my window most mornings, shaking my head at how crazy they look trying to work out in this heat. By rights, I should be out there with them. But….

…eh, forget about it.

3. Every Sunday, my DVR records True Blood. Now, with all the vocal creatures that are drawn out by this weather and my windows’ inability to keep out anything more than a slight shift in air-flow, I feel like I have surround sound. 

And finally…

4. It makes me feel like I am anywhere else other than Southern California. ‘Nuff said.

I feel like I should be more detailed with this list…maybe less zingy. There’s a part of me that will undoubtedly roll her eyes at this post sometime down the line, just before she deletes it from the “out-there” void.

To which I say: I’ve been watching a lot of The Office, recently and all that Michael Scott has made me slightly punchy and prone to gufaw-style comedy, rather than actual wit. It’s a strange world I live in–one that matches the ticking of a clock with television shows. During the day, when I have nothing better to do, I watch The Office. At night, I watch repeats of Castle and The Newsroom, then go to bed. I could waste my life in front of screens if I tried hard enough…Which is a perfect segue into an update on my progress with Infinite Jest.

I am almost near the exact middle and I have to say–I think I see where the book is going with entertainment and addiction. This is a world where entertainment has so steeped into American culture that an act of possible terrorism has been committed via a film/visual entertainment that arrives in the mail. In addition, visual stimulation and screens are in nearly every scene and every character is either psychologically disturbed, addicted to substances, or suffering some sort of birth-defect. This is a world where our perceptions of “normal” have melted away in the face of modern entertainment and time that doubles as commercial advertising.

I’m not sure how much weight this theory holds or even if I’m on the right track, thus far. All I know is I’m this close to canceling my Netflix subscription.

I probably won’t, though…

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: