Oh yeah, this is here.

Hello and welcome to another installment of the blog that has had some stuff to take care of and went on a massive cheese binge and is hence less regular (gross) than this writer originally hoped.

I know. I know. I’m sorry. I hate the thought of having another blog that I consistently apologize for not updating regularly.

I can see it now: “Hello, again. I’m sorry for not updating this more,” etc. etc. etc.

Disgusting.

So–within the next 20 minutes before I have to move on to something else, I promise to actually finish a post and update this blog in a cheese-free, high fiber manner (ew).

I’ve been thinking a lot about this notion of falling off the wagon and how it relates to creating goals and improving your life. Common wisdom says that when you fall off the wagon, get back on again. If need be, start back from square 1.

Here’s the deal, though: this is bull shit. Sure, if you spent an extended amount of time actually being productive and making the effort to become a better purpose, it should be fairly easy to pick back up after a mild, momentary set-back and get yourself back on track. However, this would only work, in my opinion, if things returned to the way they used to be–when it was so easy to be a good, productive person. This is rarely the case. Set backs are not mild hick-ups along the way (speed bumps to extend a metaphor)–they’re full on road blocks, construction sites that require detours. And, sometimes, they are a total break down of machinery. Sometimes you fall off the wagon because you were never really strapped in to begin with and the damn wagon is really a truck running 30 minutes behind schedule, traveling down the CA I-15 against traffic at 80 mph. Show me a person that can catch up to that speeding shit show and I’ll show you a blogger that has rediscovered religion.

Here’s the universally misunderstood fact: Major lifestyle changes are for the independently wealthy. This bunk bumper sticker aphorism that tells us to get back up off the ground, get on the wagon, and keep going requires the premise that the person moving towards a goal actually has time to get back on the wagon, start at square one, and ultimately become the saint they had hoped they would become.

I’ll tell you: I was running along at a pretty good clip. I had enrolled in several online courses, resined myself to subbing for another year, determined I would work more days than not. Things were going well. I was committed to this change and I wasn’t going to let the entire cast of Castle and a plate of cheese stand in my way. That’s when the cheese hit the fan and all of the sudden, I had family commitments I wasn’t expecting, wine-drenched late nights, and a new clear credential program I was trying to apply to. There was no way in hell that I would be able to keep up with the routine I had planned for myself.

SO– I changed my goals. *shocker.* I eventually got in to my program (last week) and have been working my ass off to get it off the ground. I backed out of all but one of my online classes, convinced that as interesting as history, rhetoric, and philosophy is, I wasn’t going to be able to balance online school with real school and fit a decent pay check in there.

I think sometimes the pressure to achieve specific goals becomes too much like religiously imposed constrictions. There’s no way everyone can live up to the pressure or standard of universal perfection we all like to think is somehow attainable. Anyone who says so is a bull shitter and I’ll be the first to call them as such.

I think the point is not to get back on the wagon, but choose another wagon and be content with the fact that this wagon is going down the same general path. Maybe it won’t get their as quickly or as seemingly painlessly, but it will get there–come hell or high water.

Just don’t hitch hike, though. That shit’s dangerous….

BKJ

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